An HSP's Job Profile

Good day to you my dear brothers and sisters! Today I will be speaking a tad on how HSPs deal with stress in a work environment, careers of interest and why it is imperative to have a few HSPs working for you. 

I am certain that you are well aware of HSP traits by now. HSPs are not anti-social, shy or constantly under threat of been given the heebie-jeebies in a public setting. It is just not the same as those "weaknesses" I just mentioned. In fact, more than a quarter of HSPs have extroverted personalities! However, as in every sphere of life, HSPs are subjected to awful and unwarranted stereotypes and this puts off employers who are seeking for cultured and dedicated employees. These barriers should be hanged, drawn, quartered and eviscerated. I believe that we are living in an era where we can get rid of such trite and trivial stereotypes. 

How will you benefit by hiring an HSP? 

HSPs are devoted and loyal, both to your organisation and colleagues. 
HSPs perform very well with little to no supervision, in fact that is how they love to work, because too much of attention can break their spirits. 
HSPs never indulge in promoting themselves for higher perks or positions. 
HSPs tend to avoid office politics and gossip like the plague.
HSPs are stellar performers because they process details, goals and visions more deeply than many other character types.
HSPs get along well with other employees because they are able to sense the emotions and needs of others and all the other delicate nuances involved, thereby avoiding any unnecessary altercations or misunderstandings that may occur.

If you perceive one or more of your employees are HSP, I hope you find a way to work with them in a manner that will benefit your company and everybody else. As you may have experienced already, HSPs are usually quite intelligent and astute, you can obtain the best from them only when their temperament and character are fully understood and appreciated. Close supervision and unnecessary attention can easily unnerve and derail an HSP, to the point that he or she may become flustered and end up under-performing. I cannot stress this enough, that over scrutinizing an HSP can make him/her sweat, shake and become way less productive. Our society portrays an extremely twisted view with regard to HSPs and that is precisely where we should start implementing change. As an employer, you are driven by the urge to make profit and that is precisely what a business is. You may also run away with the thought that HSPs are more work than is necessary in our fast-paced and "instant" society, but just consider the pros and advantages of investing in an HSP. Once you study their characteristics and traits and treat them in a way that is befitting their personae, you end up with an employee/s who will stick with you and you company through storms and struggles! 

My dear HSP and Non-HSP brothers and sisters, as you are well aware, I am an HSP myself and I am of the introverted kind. Ever since I was a wee laddie, I have yearned to work with the mentally ill, I wanted to be a counselor or psychiatrist, but those plans didn't fall through. However, I have no given up and I shall pursue it, though I am currently involved in counseling others on an amateur level, not professionally of course, well not as yet anyway. I have always been of the opinion that no amount of academical degrees can trump the education you receive through personal experiences. Currently I am working as a travel consultant, the field I have been in for quite some time now. I must say that at times it does get stressful, since I am always on the front line, dealing with customers and they come of a wide spectrum of personalities. I may deal with an HSP customer and the very next instant, a boorish and demanding customer who might have had a bad day and had decided to take it out on me! Therefore, I have come up with a few suggestions for HSPs like myself to relieve some of the stresses we may encounter regularly at our jobs. 

1. The moment I start feeling overwhelmed, stressed out or burned out, I excuse myself to the restroom or the cafeteria, just to gather my thoughts, compose myself and take deep breaths. If there is a park or quiet spot nearby, it is even better. 

2. There are times where I feel like I'm doing to break down any moment, it can happen because at times we work in such fast-paced environments and in the midst of constant chatter and chaos. I have developed a breathing mechanism, wherein I close my eyes, lay back on my chair, clasp my palms together and rock to and fro for a while, it could be for even 10 to 20 seconds, but it does help. 

3. I am a bookworm, my idea of heaven consists of books in every nook and cranny set in a natural environment. Therefore, if you are inclined to read, do bring a book to work, read during your spare time, take some time out for yourself. If you like listening to music, do wear your earphone while at work, if your job permits you to do so.

4. We HSPs do not usually make the first move when it comes to friendships, we wait for the opportune moment and once we are hooked, we are friends for life! Try to find a colleague who you could confide in. Remember though to not go overboard, retain your personal details for a later time. 

5. As HSPs we find it difficult to say "No". In fact, I still find it to be a constant struggle to say "No" to a request. However, I have found that if I agree and acquiesce to everything, eventually I will be taken for granted which will lead me getting burnt out and then eventually lead to disaster. We do love to help others, but we also have our limitations and it is alright to say "No".

6. Some workplaces stipulate deadlines for certain projects. Deadline, the very word still does send chills up and down my spine. I have found it to be advisable that over-analyzing a deadline can only pull us further back. Therefore, I don't think of the deadline anymore, whereas I specify a date at a comfortably distant future as my deadline, that gives me a psychological edge to get things done. I further disintegrate large projects into wee, individual portions and work through them. 

7. Finally, if you still feel the need to vent and express your feelings, I would strongly suggest that you speak to your therapist, counsellor or a person who truly understands you. As HSPs, understanding and acceptance is essential. 

In summation to all the employers out there who may have HSPs working for you, do not fret. My advise is to do some reading on HSPs in the workplace, there are quite a few reading material online. If you think that an HSP is a liability, well, you are grossly misinformed and extremely mistaken. Being highly sensitive does in no way mean being highly inefficient or ineffective. Consider the following HSPs who have left their mark in our lives in a way we could never have imagined - 

Albert Einstein
Carl Jung
Abraham Lincoln
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Mahatma Gandhi
Mother Teresa
Sir Isaac Newton
Emily Dickinson
Robert Frost
Leonardo Da Vinci
Pablo Picasso 

The list goes on and on. As I have mentioned and as many studies suggest, HSPs are highly intuitive, intelligent and intellectual individuals. 

To ally my HSP brothers and sisters out there, do remember that we are in this world for a reason and that we are born HSP for a reason. We do have great ideas, but we are unable to go through with them because we think of "other" things, we let "other" external details mar and block our path and vision. The world stands to benefit from us and we are in a far higher position to bring about true love and goodness to this damaged world of ours. Aye, we must go forth with our great visions, that is what we were created for. You are special, you are valuable, you are worthy! I couldn't stress enough. 

Therefore, my dear HSP brothers and sisters, be proud of your heightened sensitivity, for that is the greatest gift of all. Go forth and spread your love to the world. You need it for your own healing and as well as for the healing of your society. 

To all my Non-HSP brothers and sisters, if you think you may have an HSP parent, sibling, employee, friend, do try to learn more about them and accept them for who they are just as much as you would want them to accept you for who you are. Trust me (I'm not saying this as an HSP), but the world stands to gain a lot than to lose by understanding the HSP trait!

God bless you all!

One Love. HSP Love.

Good day my darling brothers and sisters! Tonight (aye, it's nighttime in my neck of the woods), I'm endeavouring to talk a wee bit about something that our modern world is in desperate need of - Love! I shall start by saying something extremely corny, but true - Love makes the world go round. Aye, it really does! Love, either platonic or physical, is a feeling or emotion that comes naturally to us. It need not be coaxed, it need not to be developed, it need not be taught, it need not be cultivated. Therefore, my question is - Why then do we find a startlingly low amount of that all-encompassing emotion? 

As you all know by now, I'm an HSP. Love is an extremely important emotion to those of who share the HSP trait. However, I have found that many HSPs, myself included, are apprehensive with regard to showing love. Perhaps, it is because of unrequited love, fear of showing love and affection due to past or ongoing abuses, ashamed of being labelled as "overly needy" or "too sensitive", the list goes on and on. We HSPs are often burdened by worries such as whether we would be accepted and appreciated. As HSPs, we are capable of changing the world, yet we need a lot of encouragement, support and push. Therefore, it's the same when it comes to spreading our love, care and affection. 

It is surely an undisputed fact that HSPs are the preeminent leaders of the "Love Gene". We take our friendships seriously, we work hard to make our friends happy, we put their needs before our own, we are often the first to lend a shoulder to cry on, to lend a hand. We take our relationships seriously, we shower our partners with praises, gifts and small tokens of appreciation and we are often the first to give in, just so that we do not need to prolong an altercation or argument. We take our marriages seriously, we never stop loving our partners over time, we live and let live, we go to extraordinary amounts of length to keep our wee cove as intimate and cozy as possible. I hope you don't think I'm tooting my own horn here or being partial with regard to HSP traits with regard to love.

Well, it's not all black and white though. I speak with personal experiences and alluding to the testimonies of the countless HSPs that I know and have come across over the years, that being in love for a HSP can get rather tiresome and tedious. To get a better grasp of the actual meaning of the preceding statement, one must be aware of the complex intricacies of an HSP. In summation, an HSP's nervous system is far more attuned than the nervous system of any other character type, thereby we tend to be far more exposed to the elements, both unseen and seen in the environment around us. Therefore, we do tend to seek a lot of meaning and depth in our relationships, we expect a lot of attention and care (this is not being needy, in fact this is how you can get the best out of an HSP) and we do take anniversaries, birthdays and such special occasions extremely seriously; sentimentality is quite important for us. We do worry a lot, we are extremely concerned and we are always trying to figure out how to improve our relationships. HSPs stress out quite often than most character types and may require down time and they may find various hobbies and pastimes enjoyable in comparison to others. If you are a non-HSP, you may probably be in a relationship with an HSP. Fear not! An HSP is the most selfless, most loving, most caring, most devout and most loyal partner you could ever find! Do remember though that an HSP who is not understood and unappreciated is devastating to both the HSP and the partner. Therefore, many HSPs find that they can be far more happier with other HSPs. Birds of a feather do flock together. However, having said that, there is absolutely no reason for an HSP and a non-HSP to be happy together, as long as the vital signs are in check and taken care of. 

Moving on, I would like to stress a tad on the cultural aspect of being an HSP. Well, the stereotype is that women are born sensitive, but men are not and for a "real" man to be sensitive is extremely unappealing and distasteful. We do live in a world that is fast becoming, if not already, a place tailor-made for the alpha male. Women do love to have male HSP friends, but are unwilling to get married to one. This truly is a paradox of sorts, isn't it? Women often outline their "perfect man" and I find that they end up dating or marrying a man who consists of a few to none of the characteristics they have outlined in the first place. However, I have heard that there are many HSP communities around the world that are working tirelessly to educate the masses on the benefits of dating or marrying an HSP and for HSP men to feel more confident and to not hold themselves responsible for the situation they find themselves in. 

My dear brothers and sisters, I have been in quite a few relationships myself. Some of them were blissful, some not quite as much. However, I have learned a lot about myself and about the world as well. Every opportunity is a learning curve and being in a relationship is definitely one. To all the non-HSPs out there who are with HSP partners, all I can say is that you are blessed. To all the HSPs out there with Non-HSP partners, this is a time for you to learn more about yourself and to revel in the garden of that eternal emotion - Love. We have seen how opposites attract and it sure is an amazing feeling, the start is a truly exciting phase! There is so much to be explored, so much to learn, so much to be experienced, but of course in true human fashion, over time these feelings dissipate and the HSP partner may stress out more frequently and the Non-HSP partner may get frustrated with the constant pendulum of feelings exuded by his/her HSP partner. Therefore, it is imperative that partners understand each other. The same goes for HSP couples as well, initially it is an amazing feeling to be in love with a kindred soul, but as time goes by, boredom and familiarity creeps in and that initial spark is snuffed out in a jiffy. Anyway, this is the subject of another topic. 

In conclusion, my dear brothers and sisters, as an HSP, I can say without reservation that love is an important and necessary emotion. I have always spoken on the necessity of it, regardless of the situation, often to the sound of demeaning laughter and disparaging remarks, yet I will waver from my belief that we live in a world that is extremely wounded, there are many open gashes that need to healed. Therefore, we need to love, we need to be selfless and giving. Harvesting love in an overly cynical world is fast becoming a noble struggle. We can do it though, all we need to do is love, unconditionally and irrevocably. 

God bless you my darling brothers and sisters! 

The Seemingly Innocuous Tip of an Iceberg

My dearest brothers and sisters, I must admit that I did take a brief hiatus from writing since I was preoccupied with work. I do return home quite late and then it's a long shower, supper, some light reading and off to Bedfordshire (Bed, I confess I'm a die-hard Anglophile!), ha ha ha. 

We do live in an enlightened time, don't we? Yet, for all our technological and societal advancements, we continue to barrel down that woeful path strewn with landmines to our own demise. I believe that the primary source of our misery is the abhorrent refusal to accept the fact that we are mere mortals! I am reminded of a quote from Charles Dicken's amazing novel, "A Christmas Carol" - "When will men open their shut up hearts and treat each other like fellow travelers to the grave and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys" (I have subtly edited the quote), but you get where I'm going with it. We are all connected, in every sense of the word. It doesn't matter who or what you are, you can be black, white, yellow, red, Asian, African, European, Christian, Atheist, Muslim, it really does not matter in the grand scheme of things! We all come into this world without any possessions and that is how we will bid adieu as well. A human baby at birth is one of the weakest in the animal world, we truly are born helpless and for want of immediate supervision and victuals. We are often met with gruesome and horrendous news stories. Wars and other man made calamities continue to wreak a heart-wrenching toll on countless populations the world over. Movies often portray violence and we continue to let our children be exposed to such programs! We must also be aware of the fact that we live in an extremely fragile and sensitive world. We can see how global warming is causing havoc across the entire planet. Well, there is indeed a lot to write about our responsibilities as a citizen of Mother Earth, both to our immediate environment and the society we live in. 

My dear brothers and sisters, as you can see, we are in need. We continue to bury ourselves in false senses of security, entitlement and reality, however, the truth of the matter is that unless we change our attitudes, unless we are even willing to change at all, the future will continue to look bleaker. I have always spoken of the importance of Love. How do we harvest love in an overly cynical world? Well, there is no clear cut path nor is there a tried and tested method. If we were to look at some of the amazing personalities of our times, such as Mother Teresa and Nelson Mandela, what did they have in common? They had all the ingredients that make us human! It really is ironical, because were created to love, for love and be loved. Love comes naturally to a human being than its opposite emotion and feeling. So, how do we start loving? Firstly, start by loving yourself, treating yourself well, taking care of yourself. Accepting yourself is of paramount importance, because in order for you to love, you have to be a conductor of love. Thereafter, go out into the world. Start with your own family, bury the hatchet, apologize and forgive. It really is easier said than done, but nothing truly frees your spirit than accepting your mistakes and forgiving others for any wrongdoing you suffered from them. Subsequently, move on to your work place, your colleagues, peers, acquaintances and so forth. Finally reach out the poor and destitute. Perhaps sponsor the tuition fees of a child whose parents can't make ends meet, just a suggestion. There are many ways in which we can make this world a better place and it's always advisable to start off small. Love truly is contagious. Thereafter, we must persevere. We may be misunderstood, we may be labeled as fame seekers and our good deeds may be misconstrued in the most colourful of ways! Yet, we must not stumble and even if we do, we must stand up and continue on the same path, though are knees have been scabbed. 

There really is a lot to write on this subject my dear brothers and sisters, but I feel my bed beckoning me to lay on its soft, downy plumes :) I shall be writing more on this subject. I sure hope I don't get writer's block, because I intend to write a self-help book in the not so distant future :)

Have a great day and God bless you my dear brothers and sisters!

A Letter from the very Heart of a Highly Sensitive Soul

My darling brothers and sisters,

You may have noticed our friendship swaying violently like a wee boat on choppy seas, we have had to work hard to keep our friendship afloat, to keep moving forward. Many were the times when you, out of despair (though with good intentions) exclaimed, "You are too SENSITIVE! You are way too SOFT, way too INTENSE! You go way OVERBOARD and you're way too EMOTIONAL!". Aye, there were times when I went home and cried myself to sleep, after hearing these accusations which at the time I thought were personal abnormalities. I HATED myself for being what I was. I wanted to end it all, I wanted out, I wanted to be "Normal". There were times where I knew I was all of this even without you having to say it all out with such exasperation. However, I'm writing this letter in order to bring tidings of great joy! I have through trial and error, through research, through soul-searching and a lot of help from my religion, managed to acquire a great deal of knowledge about what it means to be HSP, what it means to be the last bastion of hope in a cynical world. I am thrilled to be able to share this new information with you, because I believe it will help us in understanding each other better and help our friendship flourish like a palm tree.

Well, let me start by stating the obvious - I'm a highly sensitive person. What does this mean? For starters, I have a nervous system that is genetically designed to be overly sensitive than most of the general public. Make no mistake though, human beings are sensitive species, but the HSP trait goes the extra mile, so to speak. According to many reliable sources, this trait is experienced by around 20% of the population, which is in fact a huge proportion of human beings. However, having said that, it's all about how intensely sensitive can a HSP get? Being HSP, I am affected by everything that is happening around me and I mean literally everything. It could even be as trite or trivial as a slight change in wind patterns! Being HSP opens a world of kaleidoscopic possibilities, in the sense that, I'm adversely affected by any sort of violence, from physical sports to action movies. Merely seeing another human being suffering from the pangs of physical or mental pain is enough to break me down. More often than not, I was my worst critic, I kept judging myself, I wanted to change, I wanted to stamp out my sensitivity. Most of you lovely souls who are not HSP can put a lid on your sensitivity, but the more I tried to do it, the more exhausted and weary I became. After a while I learned that rather than trying to get rid of my many gifts as a HSP, I should instead learn to harness these energies that are embodied within me for the greater good. 

I happen to live in a society wherein sensitivity is regarded as another synonym for weakness. I understand that and I have to respect that. I cannot afford to live in a bubble my whole life, shun the outside world and wallow in self-pity. In an ideal world, I would have been extremely happy if everybody used their sensitivity effectively so as to accept all character types, but the world does not work that way. I would have definitely have loved to live in a world where there was a general awareness of how the HSP psyche truly operates and not see it as a negative trait. In fact, we do have the resources, but merely lack the drive. Therefore, I am trying to use my sensitivity for the betterment of the society I'm living in, rather than feel sorry for myself. I'm trying to augment my inner strength and I'm attempting to break down all the data that my body is receiving into smaller packets, so that I can be more adept attaining a personal sense of fulfillment. As I've mentioned before, I'm in essence, open to all the elements and I take them all in, I can't help it, I have no choice in the matter. Thereby, I need time to settle down, I find it difficult to adapt to a situation instantaneously, I find it difficult to just go with the flow. I'm way too sensitive for that; yes, I admit that I do get frustrated with myself when that happens, but I just need time to operate well, and given sufficient time, I honestly do operate really well. Through experience and research, I learned that this is in fact an extremely beautiful trait of being a HSP, wherein it helps me to create a loving and caring environment for my friends and loved ones, if only I am accepted. 

My darlings, let me just take a few more moments of your valuable time to explain a bit more comprehensively on some of the matters that most non-HSPs need to know about having a HSP for a friend - 

We HSPs are highly emotional. We find this quite confusing too at times, because we may be picking up on your emotions and feelings and mistaking it for one of our own! I may withdraw into my shell and want to be left alone. Please do not misunderstand me when I do though, it is just that I'm overwhelmed and I just need some rest. Communication is a key element wherein I fail as a HSP. Do please feel free to inquire as to whether I'm feeling overwhelmed and I will answer in the affirmative, this will help both of us understand each other more deeply. There may also be times where I would want to talk about what I am going through, but do understand that I do not do well in pressure situations where I am forced to speak of my feelings. Generally, we HSPs love to be hugged and this is a sure-fire way to get a HSP to feel more comfortable and at home!

We HSPs are adversely affected by violence (be it real or fake), disturbing images, loud music and chaotic environments far more than non-HSPs. This is something that can not be changed or modified or lessened. If I happen to see or hear any of the above or related, I will take time to heal and I hope you will support me by being loving and considerate and giving me the space I require to compose myself.

We HSPs are easily overwhelmed and startled. As I explained earlier, we are open to the elements. I am affected by strong lights, loud music, objects moving in high frequencies, smells, sudden changes in the weather and so forth. You may find all this rather trivial and banal, but they affect me in a way that can never be comprehended by a non-HSP. Therefore, I shall let you know in case we need to change our surroundings and I would also appreciate if you would ask me if I'm comfortable, because frankly speaking, we HSPs do tend to give out invisible signs of discomfort, even without us being aware of it! Please do not startle me even in jest, because a HSP does not fare well in such situations. If I am startled, I may take a while to compose myself, it is just my body relaxing itself after the sudden intake of a rather unexpected amount of data. 

We HSPs do not fare well with criticisms. Please do not criticize me in public, nothing breaks me down more. By all means, do take me to a corner and speak to me gently with regard to your quandary, but do not yell at me or be harsh. I do value our friendship and by you being harsh, it will just break me into a million tiny pieces, of which I may take a very long time to recover. Please do understand that as a HSP, I am very loyal to you as my friend, I am extremely devoted to you and I love you so much. I do try to make our friendship work, but do remember that as a HSP, I have my own limitations, same as you.

We HSPs hardly ever recognize our own self worth. I grew up thinking I was a wee fish in a great big ocean of a world, that I have little to no value, that I am unimportant. To be frank, you have made me feel this way too and it sure did destroy me. However, I do hope you would remind me of the times wherein I made you feel special, wherein I was a source of support in a difficult situation. It sure does me a world of good to be assured that I'm valuable and loved. We HSPs sure do need to be pushed and encouraged to get the best results possible. We tend to lost interest or give up the chase, but with adequate support, you can help us be the best of who we truly are! 

We HSPs require a lot of time and absolute focus on achieving a certain goal or completing a task. We also require more rest than non-HSPs. Please do understand that I work very hard to sustain our friendship. Your support, understanding and love is all I ask for. Due to our overly acute sensory perceptions, we are highly creative and resourceful, so much so that at the same time, we may take our own time to complete tasks. The way I work may not agree with your ideals, but please do understand that as a HSP, I look at things in a totally different light to you. Please do feel free to ask me if I need my space or if I need any help. There are times where I would love to work on my own and at times I may appreciate your advice. 

We HSPs are extremely tolerant, empathetic and sympathetic. Please do not take me for granted or use me and then throw me on the wayside like roadkill. You may have realized that you had never heard me raise my voice, that is because I find it extremely hurtful to do so. It hurts me, just as it hurts the Bee when it uses his/her stinger, most times killing him/her. You may have seen me getting agitated and depressed after seeing a dog lying dead in the street, you may even pity my sensitivity. However, do remember that I as a HSP regard the Dog as my very own and it pains me so much to see him/her dying on the street in that rather dishonorable manner. I am there for you through thick and thin, I have left my priorities behind to offer you a shoulder to cry on. I have gone whole nights without a single minute of rest to be with you when you were stuck in a rut. This is the beauty of having a HSP as a friend. 

Please note that the above are just the preamble of hopefully a lifelong relationship built on those beautiful pillars of love, friendship, loyalty, devotion and care. Please do understand that I shared all this with you because I value our friendship and I want it to work. Friendships are extremely important for us HSPs. 

As I was growing, I learned that there was, in fact, nothing at all wrong with me. I am blessed and privileged to be who I am, because I am in a position to be a beacon of light to a world consumed in darkness and misery. However, the journey I had to make, through potholes and thorns, climbing over barbed wires and scraping my knees on that uneven terrain was, in the end worth it, because I have come to appreciate myself for who I am. I love myself! That is the first step to self recovery. 

I am glad, nay, overjoyed that there are so many HSP groups and communities popping up in a way that was never the case a few years ago! There are more and more like-minded HSPs coming together for the betterment of our trait, for love and support, for further awareness and most importantly, for acceptance! This is a pressing issue for many fledgling HSPs, especially HSP children who are growing up in environments not conducive for their personal development. I hope to further the cause of all HSPs, especially HSP children, therein lies the future of HSPs.

Writing this was a huge gamble for me, because I was not aware of how you would let this sink in, I still am not. Remember that narrating this was not an easy task for me as a HSP, I did feel vulnerable and exposed, but I also understand and appreciate the fact that this is necessary for our friendship to work. Therefore, I hope you take this in the right vein and appreciate my openness. I hope to hear your thoughts on what I have written and I shall end by saying that I hope our friendship will stand the test of time. I will always be there by your side and I hope you make me feel that I am loved and cared for, even in the event that you disagree with everything that I have said.

With all my love, peace, light and blessings,

Your Sensitive Mate

Note - The above is a partially fictional narrative, taken from my own prior experiences as a HSP. My darling brothers and sisters, I thank you from the deepest chasms of my heart for reading this rather long article, of course this is just a pithy account of what a HSP is, there's definitely a lot more than meets the eye! Please do feel free to contact me for any clarifications and please do add your thoughts in the comments section as well!

I love you all so much and God bless you always!

A Wee HSP Child's Daily Grind

Ever since I can recall, I have been sensitive, I cannot remember being anything but sensitive. I'm sensitive to smell, touch, noise, lights, physical action and so forth. Growing up as a wee HSP child was truly a challenge. It was exacerbated by the fact that I was unaware of my gift as a HSP, I was made to think that something was drastically wrong with me, that I was abnormal, different and not made to survive in a world dictated by the expression "survival of the fittest". Tonight I would like to concentrate on the HSP child's dilemmas through the eyes of a bespectacled lad - 

A HSP child feels everything that's going on around him/her. He/she feels pain, anxiety, sorrow, depression for more deeply than a non-HSP. This is also true for those feelings on the other end of the spectrum - Happiness, joy, bliss. A HSP child is still a child, albeit with such advanced sensory perceptions, thereby it does become extremely arduous for the wee lad/lass to put up with such emotions. Parents should be well aware of their kids' character so as to not cause unnecessary suffering for a HSP child. 

A HSP child needs a lot of encouragement, primarily because HSP children don't often believe in their own abilities and talents. They often tend to think that their talents aren't worth a dime. We do live in a society which is slowly but surely embracing the "Caveman ideology", whence the stronger you are, the better prospects there are of ensuring your survival. Thereby, it is imperative that a HSP child's parents guide him/her with love and encouragement, not through condemnation. 

A HSP child can be introverted or extroverted. I was the former. As an introverted HSP child (I still am, an interoverted adult now, by the way), I did face a lot of quandaries in coming to terms with attending parties and functions. An introverted HSP child would rather be to him/herself in the corner with a book rather than play with other children. Introverted HSP kids would rather speak only when needed than engage in superfluous banter. Parents with introverted HSP kids should understand that by attempting to "change" them, they are essentially destroying the very being of such kids. 

A HSP child requires a lot of protection, especially from bullies at school. A HSP child will never raise his/her fist for any reason, preferring to diffuse the situation through peace and harmony or backing into a corner. It would be advisable to home-school HSP kids because they do tend to become extremely depressed in large classrooms and especially on the playground. Most parents would essentially love to "reduce" the level of sensitivity found in their HSP kids, but this would be as futile as trying to train a fish to breathe out of water and quite dangerous as well! 

HSP children are prone to sudden downward spirals of emotions and sudden spikes as well, all within a few hours to a day or longer. HSP children do tend to find it hard discerning between emotions, whether they are affected by what they have seen on the telly or due to an issue resonating from within or if they are drawing the emotions of others around them. HSP children often suffer the most when their parents are not on talking terms with each other, therefore it is important that parents cultivate a healthy relationship with each other. 

The above are a few pointers drawn through my own experiences as a HSP child. Being HSP is a source of pride and joy for me, something I would never want to change and I hope someday that any kids I would have, will be HSP as well. 

Do understand that there are few to no differences between a HSP child and a HSP adult, except for the fact that the latter are far more well read and experienced in dealing with trials and challenges than the former. However, having said that, they still remain HSP and they still need to retreat into their sacred and personal cocoon every night. 

Dear Parents, do be glad if you happen to have a HSP child! A HSP child is intuitive, caring, empathetic, loving, loyal and above all, extremely devoted to you, come what may. If you do have a HSP child or think you do, I would strongly suggest you read Elaine Aron's "The Highly Sensitive Child: Helping Our Children Thrive When the World Overwhelms Them", in order to learn more about the beauty, privilege and honour of having a wee HSP lad/lass.

My darling brothers and sisters, I shall conclude for today. Tomorrow, I hope to write on the challenges faced by HSP adults, though very succinctly, due to personal time constraints. 

I love you all so much! God bless you!

A Highly Sensitive Approach to Calm My Jangled Nerves...

Well, today dawned with a lot of hope and conviction - a brand new week in a job I just started towards the latter part of the preceding week. I woke up to the melodious twittering and chirping of birds, a gentle breeze and a sky splashed with hues of pink, blue, magenta and everything else in between. However, being a HSP, I do tend to get extremely nervous in the mornings, aye, mornings aren't my regular cup of tea, I usually like to sleep right through, but that is not an option. There was one bright light at the end of the tunnel though - I managed to acquire the services of a shuttle to and from work! Blimey, that sure does beat the chaotic journey via public transport! Thank heavens for that!

We HSPs are endowed with an intricate web of idiosyncratic mannerisms to help neutralize our more than desirable tendency to fall down hard. Some of us love to listen to soft music, get engrossed in a book, take a gentle stroll in the park, compose poetry, write journals, visit a cemetery and so forth, well the list is endless. However, did you notice a certain similarity in the examples I've given? Aye, calmness and gentleness play a huge role in the life of a HSP. As I was on my way to work, I witnessed a scene so atrocious and harrowing, I started shaking, literally! I saw this man pummeling a wee doggie with an iron bar! I was filled with white-hot rage! I was about to ask the driver to stop the bus, but I noticed the dog managed to get away through the maze of concrete structures. Well, that episode sure did put a damper on the rest of my day. All sorts of images reverberated through my brain; it sure does not help my cause that I constantly keep myself abreast with current affairs either. I did gulp down 5 cups of Chamomile tea, yet I was still not able to calm and compose myself. I kept finding myself thinking of what happened to that poor pooch who was treated with such enmity and hatred. What drives people to be so spiteful? I find that sometimes the answers to such questions do help to calm my nerves. 

I must say that I could not really concentrate on my work today, yet I did the best I could and the reason is that we HSPs make for some of the most conscientious employees, yet we must be allowed to work on our own terms. Since we are extremely observant and meticulous, we do well in research. We are also extremely responsible, however we are often overlooked when it comes to promotions or recognition, aren't we? I speak through experience, through trial and error. Most, if not all of my peers are settled down, some of them are married as well. Whereas, I have been drifting from job to job, no matter how hard I try to settle down, something or someone comes along to pick me up like I'm a piece of trash and throw me on the wayside like some roadkill. There were times when I looked back and wondered what I have accomplished and what my future holds, but this is where the HSP sense of spirituality comes in. I have found great repose in religion, I tend to my wee garden and speak to my bonnie flowers. I feel so much at peace when I do that. 

I did say that I will be talking more about the attributes and characteristics of HSPs, my dear brothers and sisters. Thereby, I apologize for not doing so. I have been concentrating on that rather unfortunate event which still continues to haunt me even now as I write. I shall conclude this post for today my darlings. I am weary and exhausted, it sure was a long, arduous day. 

Please do not forget to leave your thoughts and ideas in the comments as to why people can grow so spiteful and harvest such hatred. 

I love you all immensely! God bless you!

Why start a Blog primarily for the advancement of the cause for HSPs?

My adorable HSP and non-HSP brothers and sisters, today, on this the 05th of January in the year of our Lord 2014, I made a resolution, spurred by the advice and guidance of many of you, to initiate a blog of sorts for HSPs. 

Well, I'm Adrian and I'm as sensitive as they come :) What is it like to be a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) in a world designed and hard-coded to suit the whims and fancies of a race imbued and driven by worldly success and a general notion of "the survival of the fittest" syndrome? To be frank, it is quite irksome and rather frustrating for a HSP to live in such a world, yet the paradox is that we, who according to many sources make up 15% to 20% of the population (which is by the way a high proportion for it to be characterized as a "disorder", which many erroneously think it is), do play a major role or have to, in the general order of things. 

I sure do hope you will take it easy on me, since this is my 01st post :) My previous post was in fact a research thesis I did a few years ago and I hope you were able to attain an idea on the life of a HSP. My dear brothers and sisters, we as a species are sensitive to some degree, there are no human beings who are void of sensitivity, regardless of the circumstances and trials one has gone through or is going through. However, there are those of us who take this sensitivity to a higher level. To give you an idea, I have compiled a basic list of attributes and characteristics that define us HSPs. Here they are - 

• We sense quite deeply and intricately. Smells, colours, tastes, textures, sounds and so forth are felt quite clearly. If I were to take colour as an example or guide, we tend to notice subtle changes in hues from each palette of colour. We are quite observant, to the degree that we try to shun crowded places and situations that require a great deal of physical activity and social interaction. We almost always avoid glaring lights, concerts with blaring music, pungent odours, chaos and clutter. Again, all these are mere guidelines and even within the HSP family there are those who are affected by this less so than others. It's all a matter of degree. 
• We are emotionally sensitive beings. We have quite a low threshold to pain, trials, difficulties and discomfort, which on the flip side can also mean that we are highly concerned about our health and well-being. Our acute awareness of our inner emotional being aids us in being pretty good writers, artists and other professions that require a higher level of creativity. 
• We are beings imbued with a great sense of empathy. Thereby, we make amazing social workers, nurses, doctors, aid workers, teachers and so forth, due to our enormous concern for the welfare of our brothers and sisters.

The above are a gist of who we truly are and not a comprehensive or exhaustive list, but for you to get an idea of sorts. 

I shall be speaking more of the characteristics and attributes of HSPs during the course of the week and as and when time permits me to do so. In conclusion to this post, I would like to say that I am glad, nay, blessed to be HSP and I wouldn't want to be anything else. True, being HSP brings about quite a truckload of difficulties and challenges, but the enormous amount of blessings far outweigh the challenges. 

With all my peace, love, light and blessings,

Adrian

The Highly Sensitive Person - A Brief Overview

THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON

INTRODUCTION

Definitions

            According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the definition of the word “Sensitive” in this context is 1- “quick to detect, respond to, or be affected by slight changes, signals, or influences.” 2 – “Delicately appreciating the feelings of others.” And 3 – “easily offended or upset.”

Dr. Elaine Aron, author of the national bestseller – “The Highly Sensitive Person – How to thrive when the world overwhelms you”, which is perhaps the most comprehensive book written about highly sensitive people, states that the aforementioned is “A distinct personality trait that affects as many as one in every five persons. A highly sensitive person has a sensitive nervous system, is aware of subtleties in his/her surroundings, and is more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment.”

Thesis

            I shall be concentrating on the ill treatment and hazards faced by highly sensitive people since antiquity to this day and age. Furthermore, I shall be focusing on the causes of the aforementioned and the effects they play on the psyche of a highly sensitive person. In conclusion, the measures that society should employ to help inhibit the verbal and physical abuse faced by highly sensitive people and the imperative role the latter plays in shaping society throughout history, on towards contemporary times. 

CAUSES AND HISTORY

The Study of Personality Psychology

            Every human being is unique, just as no two zebras have the same vertical stripe formation. The field that concentrates on human personality is known as “Personality Psychology”. This vast domain deals with the study of personality based on concepts of diverse individuals. The personality a person comprises is unique and exclusive to that person only; the set of traits a person encompasses solely has a strong bearing on his/her outlook, behavior, language and so forth, given various situations. Throughout the ages, psychologists have attempted to formulate theories on the vast multitude of personalities that exists around them. Some have endeavored to approach this in a scientific sense, while others have focused on popular culture. The world-renowned psychologist Carl Jung was a major pioneer in establishing the idea of psychological types.

Why are some people sensitive, while others are impervious?

            It has been researched that genes and heredity play a fundamental role in the formation of one’s personality. Furthermore, environment and experiences can affect the personality of a person as well. Scientists have determined that identical twins are composed of roughly the same characteristics. What causes lay the foundations of a sensitive person?  Popular beliefs state that nurturing is an underlying factor; methods engaged by parents in fostering their children, the experiences a child might encounter during early adolescence and so forth. However, it is worthy to note that sensitivity largely, is an inborn trait, just as any other personality trait such as extraversion, perceiving, judging, neuroticism, sensing and so forth. Modern culture often depicts an acutely negative image of a sensitive person or child. Parents often worry unnecessarily that their child may be “abnormal” or “odd”, simply because he or she may seem uninterested in sports, extracurricular activities, and social functions and so on. It is rather unfortunate that this wonderful trait is misunderstood by and large by parents, including psychiatrists, who label children of this nature as “shy”, “fearful”, “hyper-sensitive”, to name a few. What they do not realise is that inside the mind of a sensitive child or person is composed of unparalleled wisdom, empathy, compassion, creativity and so forth. Concentrating on the sensitive adolescent, he or she should be nurtured with understanding, lest they grow up to fall into depression an anxiety. However, we must not forget that every human being is sensitive to a certain extent; it is from sensitivity that understanding, compassion and love stems from. The major quandaries arise when parents conclude that their child is overly sensitive to survive in today’s tough society. If we were to look at this predicament more deeply, we would find those children who possess other traits such as; extraversion, openness etc. have their own set of dilemmas. Finally, this would all end in how a person looks at another, what he or she expects of another, or there are no good or bad traits; what is important is how we use our traits in an effectual and propitious manner. To understand any personality trait, leave alone sensitivity, we must first and fore mostly put ourselves in the person in question’s shoes and look at it in his or her perspective. It is this ability, known as empathy, that sensitive people posses in copious quantity, which helps them understand the world around them, though on many occasions, it is misunderstood to be effeminate (if it’s a sensitive male) and abnormal.

DISCUSSION

Who is a Highly Sensitive Person?

            As mentioned in the Introduction, all aspects of one’s life affect a highly sensitive person. A Highly Sensitive Person has great emotional zeal, intensity, and profundity. Amongst the many humane traits that a highly sensitive person composes of are, primarily sensitivity, the ability to go the extra mile in helping another and due to their aforementioned sensitivity, they are easily affected by the troubles and plights of others, which enables them to reach out to the depressed and browbeaten. The negative aspects of these are that these traits inhibit a highly sensitive person to focus on his or her wants, since they often put others in front of their own desires. Science has proves that highly sensitive people perform better at work and studies, due to their heightened perceptive skills. The reason behind this is that a highly sensitive person is observant of his or her surroundings and his or her brain mulls over the details amassed in great depth and intensity. However, on the other hand, for a highly sensitive person to be successful at the workplace or school, he or she must be able to thrive in a conducive environment and not be misunderstood and most importantly not be subjected to the “spot light”, for highly sensitive persons can never flourish in an environment where they are constantly scrutinized or overwhelmed. Furthermore, a highly sensitive person is observant and aware of a whole array of minute and infinitesimal points in nature such as, smell, sounds, light, noise, temperature and so forth. Highly sensitive people have low degree of forbearance for action than many others. This is because, as mentioned earlier, a highly sensitive person’s brain processes information to a deeper scale and the maximum amount of what’s “too much” is perceptibly lower than others. This would in turn lead to that core misunderstanding that modern society think of highly sensitive people, shyness, timidity and the opposition of social gatherings. Amongst other traits are the appreciation of arts and aesthetics. A highly sensitive person may even have the talent of creating a marvelous piece of art or a work of literary genius. They are highly imaginative and creative. A highly sensitive person may tend to create a world of his or her own, in order to escape the weary and mundane aspects of the more “tough” and “austere” realities of life. This, more often than not, makes it challenging for highly sensitive persons to amalgamate to 'real world' priorities and realities. A well-known misnomer is that all highly sensitive people are introverts; however, this is far from the truth, as up to 30% of highly sensitive people are extroverts, according to the findings of author Elaine Aron. Nevertheless, all highly sensitive people need “alone-time” in order to rejuvenate and feel replenished. What may seem “common” to others may provide valuable insight to the mind of a highly sensitive person. For instance, a highly sensitive person may compare between two affluent people and find that one is more down-to-earth and the other more ostentatious and flamboyant. This would provide a very valuable lesson to a highly sensitive person, in so much that, he or she might differentiate, categorize and form a detailed analysis to the different kinds of rich people.  As a highly sensitive person, he or she may never forget that observation and would definitely apply the lesson learnt into his or her own lifestyle immediately, if not at the appropriate time. The above are but a handful of the amazing traits a highly sensitive person encompasses. We must not forget that they are not merely “sensitive”, which is a common trait found in every human being; rather highly sensitive people possess sensitivity to a greater degree, which moulds their very outlook of life and personality.

Why are highly sensitive people subjected to a high degree of verbal and physical abuse?

            Let us first consider the highly sensitive child. Sadly, many children who are highly sensitive are misunderstood and sidelined. This is due to the lack of research done in the past and the mental formulation of an “ideal” personality where a more outgoing and tough disposition is favored in today’s culture. A highly sensitive child shows more interest in intellectual pursuits, talks less, spends most of the time alone, seem pre-mature, to name a few traits associated with them. While many of his or her peers may enjoy wild rides at the theme park, play soccer or other fast-paced sports, love noisy gatherings such as birthday parties and going for a get together, the highly sensitive child will more often than not, totally shun all of the mentioned activities and others of the same vein. However, if they were to attend the aforementioned, they will find it excessively uncomfortable and irritable and may lose their bearings. This may cause parents to think that their highly sensitive child is a fish out of water or even ill and in the worst-case scenario, mentally unstable. This, as mentioned earlier is the lack of education on the subject of highly sensitive people. Parents should understand that this is an inborn trait and is exceptionally amazing. The first thing a parent does, when they find out that their child is “different” to the established norms when compared to children of his or her age, is to try and change the child’s personality. This is the worst move a parent could make, as it would only damage the child to a degree that is unimaginable. We must not forget that a highly sensitive person is very perceptive and think quite intensely and deeply. This would only lead to a destructive and excruciating childhood. A highly sensitive person has so much to offer in today’s society, because they think, weigh and measure all aspects of an action before others do. They perform rather well as healers in the form of psychiatrists, counselors, and teachers and in the sphere of governance as politicians, motivational leaders and so forth. However, for all of this to blossom, they must be raised with love, understanding and compassion. Many times, the loved ones of a highly sensitive person, with or without their knowledge tells the latter that he or she is too sensitive to live in society, this is more often accentuated if the person in question is a male. However, research as proved that there are roughly the same amount of highly sensitive males and females. The highly sensitive child is often the target of bullying in school. Furthermore, teachers criticize them by saying they do not get involved in extra curricular activities, too shy and so forth. What they fail to realise is that, a highly sensitive child is by far more intellectually advanced, compared to his or her peers who are far more outgoing and gregarious. As is most often the case, the child tends to attempt at changing him/herself, but obviously fails and feel exceptionally ashamed and forlorn in the process. A highly sensitive child craves for love and attention, they need to be constantly praised, for indeed, they give their utmost and are often calm, tranquil and peaceful. These children unnecessarily suffer, for no fault of their own, but due to the pressures and expectations of a “macho” society in which they live. We all know that highly sensitive people spend most of their time to themselves, so unless someone is genuinely concerned about them, they may not know what is probably working on their minds. In school, a highly sensitive child may be physically abused, however, may not in turn report it to the authorities or parents due to fear. Therefore, it’s the duty of parents to nurture their highly sensitive child and bring he or she up in line of his or her morals, values and principles, which would in turn benefit society, for all and many more reasons I have mentioned. I have concentrated heavily on the highly sensitive child because it is the childhood of a highly sensitive person that would lay the cornerstone to a life of fulfillment and service to society, for highly sensitive people have so much to offer as individuals.

A condensed version of the most common attributes of being Highly Sensitive

            Starting from childhood, the wounds sustained during that period has a profound effect on them and they need to heal them soon, since they cannot forget their pasts as easily as many others. Emotionally, they are conceived as shy, timid and introverted, they are aware of others’ emotions. Physically, they thrive in a quiet and peaceful environment. They are socially inept and prefer spending time alone. Culturally, they suffer because they do not fit in very well with the outgoing and tough ideals of society. 

SOLUTIONS

The role society should play in ensuring that the worth of highly sensitive people is recognized.

            Primarily, society should dwell on the conscience that individuals differ and each person has something beautiful to offer to our society. Highly sensitive people are perhaps, the most misunderstood, sidelined and demeaned of all personality traits associated with a person. At the outset, the idea of studying various personalities is a rather modern venture. However, it is sad to note that we are no more different from cave dwellers, in our quest to accept our neighbor as a separate entity with his or her unique talents and faculties. If we have a friend or a sibling who is overly sensitive, we must strive to learn more about this trait, so that it would facilitate our understanding of him or her. We must understand that highly sensitive people give us their fullest, they put our needs before their own, they love us deeply and they would do anything to inhibit us from getting hurt. However, sadly, highly sensitive people end up being hurt and trampled upon quite often, even though they may never forget their pain that will not stop them from associating the very person who caused them so much grief. A highly sensitive person is quick to forgive, but not forget, yet the beauty of this is that they will not let that memory of pain and anguish restrains them from performing charitable or social acts. They are fiercely loyal to whom they consider to be their friends and are over protective of their families. We must recognize these characteristics and accept highly sensitive people in our circles and give them a chance to shine out with their own talents, for I believe, they have much more to offer society and the world in general.

CONCLUSION

Treating others as equals

            We are all unique; yet, we are governed by the norms set by media, popular figures and so forth. For instance, a child who excels in studies, sports and extra curricular activities is on a far higher plane than a child who merely reads and keeps to him/herself, in the modern context.

            It is our moral and social responsibility to accommodate highly sensitive people to our wider social circle. We, as their friends should strive to give them the opportunity to bring out their best, for by experience, we know how fiercely loyal and steadfast they have been. We must not take advantage of them, simply because we know they would never hurt us, how much ever we may hurt them. It is quite easy to hurt a highly sensitive person, but it is hard to erase the guilt we face soon after. As parents, we must recognize our child’s exceptional qualities and foster them in a loving and caring environment. As Elaine Aron puts it, “If you want to have an exceptional child, you must be willing to have an exceptional child.” This is true of highly sensitive adults as well. Highly sensitive persons are phenomenally productive employees; they make loyal and caring life partners and are uniquely gifted in a vast myriad of fields. It is up to us to enable them to excel in society, for in the end, society would benefit from the presence of highly sensitive persons and works imparted from the aforementioned.