THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE PERSON
INTRODUCTION
Definitions
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the definition of the word “Sensitive” in this context is 1- “quick to detect, respond to, or be affected by slight changes, signals, or influences.” 2 – “Delicately appreciating the feelings of others.” And 3 – “easily offended or upset.”
Dr. Elaine Aron, author of the national bestseller – “The Highly Sensitive Person – How to thrive when the world overwhelms you”, which is perhaps the most comprehensive book written about highly sensitive people, states that the aforementioned is “A distinct personality trait that affects as many as one in every five persons. A highly sensitive person has a sensitive nervous system, is aware of subtleties in his/her surroundings, and is more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment.”
Thesis
I shall be concentrating on the ill treatment and hazards faced by highly sensitive people since antiquity to this day and age. Furthermore, I shall be focusing on the causes of the aforementioned and the effects they play on the psyche of a highly sensitive person. In conclusion, the measures that society should employ to help inhibit the verbal and physical abuse faced by highly sensitive people and the imperative role the latter plays in shaping society throughout history, on towards contemporary times.
CAUSES AND HISTORY
The Study of Personality Psychology
Every human being is unique, just as no two zebras have the same vertical stripe formation. The field that concentrates on human personality is known as “Personality Psychology”. This vast domain deals with the study of personality based on concepts of diverse individuals. The personality a person comprises is unique and exclusive to that person only; the set of traits a person encompasses solely has a strong bearing on his/her outlook, behavior, language and so forth, given various situations. Throughout the ages, psychologists have attempted to formulate theories on the vast multitude of personalities that exists around them. Some have endeavored to approach this in a scientific sense, while others have focused on popular culture. The world-renowned psychologist Carl Jung was a major pioneer in establishing the idea of psychological types.
Why are some people sensitive, while others are impervious?
It has been researched that genes and heredity play a fundamental role in the formation of one’s personality. Furthermore, environment and experiences can affect the personality of a person as well. Scientists have determined that identical twins are composed of roughly the same characteristics. What causes lay the foundations of a sensitive person? Popular beliefs state that nurturing is an underlying factor; methods engaged by parents in fostering their children, the experiences a child might encounter during early adolescence and so forth. However, it is worthy to note that sensitivity largely, is an inborn trait, just as any other personality trait such as extraversion, perceiving, judging, neuroticism, sensing and so forth. Modern culture often depicts an acutely negative image of a sensitive person or child. Parents often worry unnecessarily that their child may be “abnormal” or “odd”, simply because he or she may seem uninterested in sports, extracurricular activities, and social functions and so on. It is rather unfortunate that this wonderful trait is misunderstood by and large by parents, including psychiatrists, who label children of this nature as “shy”, “fearful”, “hyper-sensitive”, to name a few. What they do not realise is that inside the mind of a sensitive child or person is composed of unparalleled wisdom, empathy, compassion, creativity and so forth. Concentrating on the sensitive adolescent, he or she should be nurtured with understanding, lest they grow up to fall into depression an anxiety. However, we must not forget that every human being is sensitive to a certain extent; it is from sensitivity that understanding, compassion and love stems from. The major quandaries arise when parents conclude that their child is overly sensitive to survive in today’s tough society. If we were to look at this predicament more deeply, we would find those children who possess other traits such as; extraversion, openness etc. have their own set of dilemmas. Finally, this would all end in how a person looks at another, what he or she expects of another, or there are no good or bad traits; what is important is how we use our traits in an effectual and propitious manner. To understand any personality trait, leave alone sensitivity, we must first and fore mostly put ourselves in the person in question’s shoes and look at it in his or her perspective. It is this ability, known as empathy, that sensitive people posses in copious quantity, which helps them understand the world around them, though on many occasions, it is misunderstood to be effeminate (if it’s a sensitive male) and abnormal.
DISCUSSION
Who is a Highly Sensitive Person?
As mentioned in the Introduction, all aspects of one’s life affect a highly sensitive person. A Highly Sensitive Person has great emotional zeal, intensity, and profundity. Amongst the many humane traits that a highly sensitive person composes of are, primarily sensitivity, the ability to go the extra mile in helping another and due to their aforementioned sensitivity, they are easily affected by the troubles and plights of others, which enables them to reach out to the depressed and browbeaten. The negative aspects of these are that these traits inhibit a highly sensitive person to focus on his or her wants, since they often put others in front of their own desires. Science has proves that highly sensitive people perform better at work and studies, due to their heightened perceptive skills. The reason behind this is that a highly sensitive person is observant of his or her surroundings and his or her brain mulls over the details amassed in great depth and intensity. However, on the other hand, for a highly sensitive person to be successful at the workplace or school, he or she must be able to thrive in a conducive environment and not be misunderstood and most importantly not be subjected to the “spot light”, for highly sensitive persons can never flourish in an environment where they are constantly scrutinized or overwhelmed. Furthermore, a highly sensitive person is observant and aware of a whole array of minute and infinitesimal points in nature such as, smell, sounds, light, noise, temperature and so forth. Highly sensitive people have low degree of forbearance for action than many others. This is because, as mentioned earlier, a highly sensitive person’s brain processes information to a deeper scale and the maximum amount of what’s “too much” is perceptibly lower than others. This would in turn lead to that core misunderstanding that modern society think of highly sensitive people, shyness, timidity and the opposition of social gatherings. Amongst other traits are the appreciation of arts and aesthetics. A highly sensitive person may even have the talent of creating a marvelous piece of art or a work of literary genius. They are highly imaginative and creative. A highly sensitive person may tend to create a world of his or her own, in order to escape the weary and mundane aspects of the more “tough” and “austere” realities of life. This, more often than not, makes it challenging for highly sensitive persons to amalgamate to 'real world' priorities and realities. A well-known misnomer is that all highly sensitive people are introverts; however, this is far from the truth, as up to 30% of highly sensitive people are extroverts, according to the findings of author Elaine Aron. Nevertheless, all highly sensitive people need “alone-time” in order to rejuvenate and feel replenished. What may seem “common” to others may provide valuable insight to the mind of a highly sensitive person. For instance, a highly sensitive person may compare between two affluent people and find that one is more down-to-earth and the other more ostentatious and flamboyant. This would provide a very valuable lesson to a highly sensitive person, in so much that, he or she might differentiate, categorize and form a detailed analysis to the different kinds of rich people. As a highly sensitive person, he or she may never forget that observation and would definitely apply the lesson learnt into his or her own lifestyle immediately, if not at the appropriate time. The above are but a handful of the amazing traits a highly sensitive person encompasses. We must not forget that they are not merely “sensitive”, which is a common trait found in every human being; rather highly sensitive people possess sensitivity to a greater degree, which moulds their very outlook of life and personality.
Why are highly sensitive people subjected to a high degree of verbal and physical abuse?
Let us first consider the highly sensitive child. Sadly, many children who are highly sensitive are misunderstood and sidelined. This is due to the lack of research done in the past and the mental formulation of an “ideal” personality where a more outgoing and tough disposition is favored in today’s culture. A highly sensitive child shows more interest in intellectual pursuits, talks less, spends most of the time alone, seem pre-mature, to name a few traits associated with them. While many of his or her peers may enjoy wild rides at the theme park, play soccer or other fast-paced sports, love noisy gatherings such as birthday parties and going for a get together, the highly sensitive child will more often than not, totally shun all of the mentioned activities and others of the same vein. However, if they were to attend the aforementioned, they will find it excessively uncomfortable and irritable and may lose their bearings. This may cause parents to think that their highly sensitive child is a fish out of water or even ill and in the worst-case scenario, mentally unstable. This, as mentioned earlier is the lack of education on the subject of highly sensitive people. Parents should understand that this is an inborn trait and is exceptionally amazing. The first thing a parent does, when they find out that their child is “different” to the established norms when compared to children of his or her age, is to try and change the child’s personality. This is the worst move a parent could make, as it would only damage the child to a degree that is unimaginable. We must not forget that a highly sensitive person is very perceptive and think quite intensely and deeply. This would only lead to a destructive and excruciating childhood. A highly sensitive person has so much to offer in today’s society, because they think, weigh and measure all aspects of an action before others do. They perform rather well as healers in the form of psychiatrists, counselors, and teachers and in the sphere of governance as politicians, motivational leaders and so forth. However, for all of this to blossom, they must be raised with love, understanding and compassion. Many times, the loved ones of a highly sensitive person, with or without their knowledge tells the latter that he or she is too sensitive to live in society, this is more often accentuated if the person in question is a male. However, research as proved that there are roughly the same amount of highly sensitive males and females. The highly sensitive child is often the target of bullying in school. Furthermore, teachers criticize them by saying they do not get involved in extra curricular activities, too shy and so forth. What they fail to realise is that, a highly sensitive child is by far more intellectually advanced, compared to his or her peers who are far more outgoing and gregarious. As is most often the case, the child tends to attempt at changing him/herself, but obviously fails and feel exceptionally ashamed and forlorn in the process. A highly sensitive child craves for love and attention, they need to be constantly praised, for indeed, they give their utmost and are often calm, tranquil and peaceful. These children unnecessarily suffer, for no fault of their own, but due to the pressures and expectations of a “macho” society in which they live. We all know that highly sensitive people spend most of their time to themselves, so unless someone is genuinely concerned about them, they may not know what is probably working on their minds. In school, a highly sensitive child may be physically abused, however, may not in turn report it to the authorities or parents due to fear. Therefore, it’s the duty of parents to nurture their highly sensitive child and bring he or she up in line of his or her morals, values and principles, which would in turn benefit society, for all and many more reasons I have mentioned. I have concentrated heavily on the highly sensitive child because it is the childhood of a highly sensitive person that would lay the cornerstone to a life of fulfillment and service to society, for highly sensitive people have so much to offer as individuals.
A condensed version of the most common attributes of being Highly Sensitive
Starting from childhood, the wounds sustained during that period has a profound effect on them and they need to heal them soon, since they cannot forget their pasts as easily as many others. Emotionally, they are conceived as shy, timid and introverted, they are aware of others’ emotions. Physically, they thrive in a quiet and peaceful environment. They are socially inept and prefer spending time alone. Culturally, they suffer because they do not fit in very well with the outgoing and tough ideals of society.
SOLUTIONS
The role society should play in ensuring that the worth of highly sensitive people is recognized.
Primarily, society should dwell on the conscience that individuals differ and each person has something beautiful to offer to our society. Highly sensitive people are perhaps, the most misunderstood, sidelined and demeaned of all personality traits associated with a person. At the outset, the idea of studying various personalities is a rather modern venture. However, it is sad to note that we are no more different from cave dwellers, in our quest to accept our neighbor as a separate entity with his or her unique talents and faculties. If we have a friend or a sibling who is overly sensitive, we must strive to learn more about this trait, so that it would facilitate our understanding of him or her. We must understand that highly sensitive people give us their fullest, they put our needs before their own, they love us deeply and they would do anything to inhibit us from getting hurt. However, sadly, highly sensitive people end up being hurt and trampled upon quite often, even though they may never forget their pain that will not stop them from associating the very person who caused them so much grief. A highly sensitive person is quick to forgive, but not forget, yet the beauty of this is that they will not let that memory of pain and anguish restrains them from performing charitable or social acts. They are fiercely loyal to whom they consider to be their friends and are over protective of their families. We must recognize these characteristics and accept highly sensitive people in our circles and give them a chance to shine out with their own talents, for I believe, they have much more to offer society and the world in general.
CONCLUSION
Treating others as equals
We are all unique; yet, we are governed by the norms set by media, popular figures and so forth. For instance, a child who excels in studies, sports and extra curricular activities is on a far higher plane than a child who merely reads and keeps to him/herself, in the modern context.
It is our moral and social responsibility to accommodate highly sensitive people to our wider social circle. We, as their friends should strive to give them the opportunity to bring out their best, for by experience, we know how fiercely loyal and steadfast they have been. We must not take advantage of them, simply because we know they would never hurt us, how much ever we may hurt them. It is quite easy to hurt a highly sensitive person, but it is hard to erase the guilt we face soon after. As parents, we must recognize our child’s exceptional qualities and foster them in a loving and caring environment. As Elaine Aron puts it, “If you want to have an exceptional child, you must be willing to have an exceptional child.” This is true of highly sensitive adults as well. Highly sensitive persons are phenomenally productive employees; they make loyal and caring life partners and are uniquely gifted in a vast myriad of fields. It is up to us to enable them to excel in society, for in the end, society would benefit from the presence of highly sensitive persons and works imparted from the aforementioned.
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